I have three college classes. This is one less than I normally take. While I did have four, I stuck with three after the first week when I realized my Thursday night class was a poetry workshop, an advanced one. Like, there's complete freedom in the poems you turn in to be workshopped. I was immediately chosen to be a lead proofreader for a guy whose poem look and read like a schizophrenic e.e.cummings and I dropped that class. I don't do poetry. I write prose full of run-on sentences, alliteration and summaries.
Here is where I've been so far:
Jan 26/27- San Diego WPJJC Trials I drove down Saturday and came home Sunday night.
Feb 7-11- Traveled to meet my boyfriend Gianni again for the weekend in New York/New Jersey where I experienced the blizzard. Got home after missing Monday morning class but got to Monday evening class.
Feb 15-17- IBJJF Houston Open, flew in Friday and left Sunday while competing with a 102 degree fever. Got second in a combined division of light feathers to light weights.
Feb 23/24- IBJJF San Francisco Open, flew up with my mama on Saturday, watched the Ronda right that night then worked all day Sunday and came home that night. Didn't compete, still sick.
Mar 1-4- IBJJF Boston Open, flew into New York and drove up with Gianni on Saturday. Double gold in both featherweight and the absolute. Flew home Monday morning in time for Monday evening class.
Mar 9/10- IBJJF Chicago Open, flew in on a red eye where I got about 3 hours of sleep only to compete and work all day Saturday. Got gold after one match in my division and flew home on Sunday after waiting in the rain for 30 minutes when my cab didn't come. Denied a cab by 5 companies, ran back to IBJJF crew who drove me to the airport where I was initially denied a boarding. Thank goodness they found me a spot.
Mar 12- now: Fight for Charity 2 and UFC 158. I'm in Montreal, Canada for press and I competed at the charity event in a supermatch that I lost due to an advantage against Alison Tremblay. I think she's a middle heavyweight but she won world last year. Used my spider guard but wasnt aggressive enough.
In a couple of hours I'm walking back over to the Bell Centre to cover the UFC 158 fights tonight with headlining fight GSP vs. Diaz. I could not have asked for a better fight to cover as my first big press event. I never even thought I would get here. I never thought that I'd be transferring into MMA at this point in my training. And it's on the sidelines.
When I was a blue belt I traveled up to San Francisco for some training at the Pleasant Hill Gracie Fighter academy to train under Caio. I had met some amazing people on my last trip up there and knew it'd be a great trip. The day I got in my place to stay fell through due to a roommate feud and Cesar Gracie lent me a place to stay at one of his houses since his nanny was gone for the weekend. In the process of hanging with Cesar that first day I was thrown into a plan that I let take over everything I had wanted to do that weekend. I was going to train with Nick Diaz instead and that was pretty damn cool. Cesar had him come to train on that Saturday and I was able to get armbarred by him a bunch and tag along with everyone after. That night Cesar told me I'd be going to Stockton with Nick and his friends so I did just that. I got to spend some time with him that weekend and my journalistic side wanted to kick in so bad to write about it. At the time, my zine was still a xeroxed piece of paper that I tried to stuff into pockets. I think I was writing interviews for Budovideos at the time but there wasn't an outlet for me to "sell a story" so to speak. Nothing was ever really talked about after that weekend and it feels like something I shouldn't talk about along with other things in my past. But being able to exist in Nick's element even for some days was enough to make me believe that his rebellious attitude is simply just who he is.
Being around him and learning about his feelings towards fighting would make most people decide on another life path but for me, it introduced me to the fighter life that sounded enticing. For once I was opening up to the idea of MMA and somehow I conjured up an answer for those who asked me if I ever wanted to get into it:
Being at the press conference and the open workouts were very different. Media members in Jiu-Jitsu aren't really different from the competitors because most people who take pictures and write, also train. We aren't guaranteed WIFI and we aren't designated a place to put our stuff each tournament. We exist but kind of on our own. In the UFC world, there is a "media world." Dana White used this term. At the open workouts I walked around feeling like a bum wearing my uggs and graciemag hoodie looking like a rag-a-muffin because I had just gotten off two red-eye flights. I hadn't really slept and I had no idea what I was supposed to do except shove my way through to film the fighters answering questions with my iphone. Many guys were in suits and besides those standing around, everyone seemed to have an idea of their jobs. They looked important in their suits. After talking to a few people I realized that most of these dudes had never trained in their life, they don't understand fighting or any discipline of martial arts and they have a huge ego because they happen to run a small MMA podcast in Ottawa after 20 years in a cubicle that made them so miserable they finally "took the plunge" and are now "following their dreams." Most of them remind me of forum trolls and half of them still work their 9-5's.
Being addressed as media made me feel disconnected from the real reason I do this. Maybe I don't fight MMA and maybe I don't know what it's like to be in the spotlight for that reason but I identify with the fighters a whole lot more than those sitting in the chairs asking the same questions over and over again. This is what I was afraid of, really. I never wanted to be so absorbed by my job that it completely took away from my training. I want to be the do-er, not just the talk about-er.
I love this job. Editing pictures, writing articles and getting to travel and compete like this is a dream. It doesn't feel like work, I just don't want it to ever feel that way. I know that I have to work my ass off to get anywhere. I have to train hard and stay focused to win Pan Ams next week. I have to pay attention to my school to pass my classes. I have to keep up on deadlines and find wifi and ignore tourist opportunities in order to get my work done and keep my job. It's not a bad trade-off, but it's not easy.
I have people remind me how much they want my job. They want to travel and compete and have Jiu-Jitsu on their mind 24/7. This helps me move forward. Not because someone else can easily take it (because they can't) but because it's time-consuming and will prevent me from being the absolute best at any one thing for awhile (except multi-tasking). There are negative effects. They aren't negative to me really, but they would be for the average person. My job is perfect for me. I don't have a family. I don't have kids, nor do I want them before I'm 33. I don't have friends outside of Jiu-Jitsu. Really, I don't. I ended the last friendship last summer because it didn't help me in anyway. Sitting around talking about how depressed we are and egging on each other's road rage was hardly supplemental to my lifestyle. I have a long distance relationship that matches well with my lifestyle given that I get to spend time with my boyfriend at tournaments we both attend. I like being a nomad, I don't mind traveling alone or sleeping on couches or sharing beds with Jiu-Jitsu dudes who snore (wait, I do mind). I'm not high maintenance, I just need coffee.
I've made a lot of improvements. My photography is getting better and it's getting more noticed. My editor and boss have both complimented my writing lately, stating that I've been cranking out content well and the quality is improving. I think I'm passing my classes so far. I've been drilling when I can with Daniela, Cobrinha's wife. I've been racking up some gold medals. I've gotten to be a pro at traveling. I'm getting more and more opportunities and networking like crazy. I'm working on a sponsorship with a big gi company that hopefully I can secure after Pan Ams. I'm drinking less starbucks at home. I dumped the negative people in my life and I have the most supportive, kind, loving, patient, talented and accepting boyfriend. Oh and did I mention I'm going to Abu Dhabi?
Taking the time to analyze how far I've come and and what I've made of myself thus far is a tough feat these days. Every day is comprised of a cramped to-do list with leftover items constantly making their way through out my weeks. My planner helps but there are just too many things for me to do minimally. Don't even ask me to do my best on everything. I am doing my best within my current abilities and that's been a good amount for most to be impressed with although I'll forever be hard on myself. Never thinking I was the competitive type, I'm a different person now. Except it took me awhile because I'm not competing against others, I'm simply competing against myself to continuously one-up my previous performance.
I have to pass my classes, I have to keep up my coverage on all these events, I have to win my tournaments and I have maintain healthy relationships in my life. So far so good.
