I never want to be that writer who merely writes articles for the word count or quantity demanded by an editor. To report and skim the top of a truly inspiring person, tragic event or passionate interview is so offensive to me. The last time I paid any real attention to my zine was about 3 months ago. I burn out a lot. If my breakfast every morning is strawberry eggo waffles, it will remain that way for a few months. I will be so stoked to wake up and pop that sucker into the toaster. So easy, so quick and mmm tasty. Well, after awhile the boxes will pile up in my freezer and my motivation to eat those tasty waffles will dwindle down to non-existent. Then I move on to something else that really sparks my taste buds and the cycle continues. I use this one perhaps unrelated example but this is to show how I am with every interest in my life. Call me the jack of all trades. Playing in a band, starting a beanie/scarf business, jiu jitsu competitor, writer, blogger, horse-back rider, hardcore show enthusiast, you name it. And it’s starting to happen with jiu jitsu and my zine but I refuse to let it happen. I’m sitting at my desk at work and my zines are piled next to me since I started distributing them once again. I read it over and even though I’ve read these articles a hundred times, stared at the pictures as I strategically placed them so the words fit just right on the page, downloaded the perfect fonts and used them accordingly, poured all of my emotion into that Roylerzinho article, etc., I still feel so excited and proud to have created it. I have created every single aspect of these two pieces of paper on my own. I look at this and I think about the time I spent getting quotes from 15 different copy places to finally get a bulk rate after visiting kinkos twice a week, how much money I have put towards supplies, shipping, postage, copies, the time I spent contacting people and them never getting back to me, the images I cropped and edited for hours on photoshop where I am just a beginner. The list goes on and I’m sure you get the idea. And my point is that this zine is my pride and joy, too much to just let it die out. I’m currently working on the next issue and my bulk order of 1,000 copies of issue 2 will be driven down to the Atama headquarters next week for them to be distributed.

As far as jiu jitsu is concerned, I can’t really say its in the same boat and I’ll have to report on my results at the Worlds. It went exactly as expected. I won my first match via submission and met Monique for the second time. I knew I did not want to be in her guard and she didn’t want to be in mine. We both pulled as expected and she was making sure that I came up. I positioned my knee so she couldn’t close and I reluctantly came up on my knee. At the same moment she pulled my right arm and locked up a triangle. I had my other hand in enough to prevent the choke but my arm was fully extended. She tried the armbar but it didn’t work. I passed my leg over to help relieve my head from her legs so she went belly down and even with a wristlock couldn’t submit me still. She swept to mount and as I was squeezing my head out of the triangle she yanked on my arm when it was near the elbow and I tapped. I’ve trained two times in total since then and haven’t found much motivation to go. I don’t think I am cut out to be a world champion and I will need to force myself to attend class before I will find enjoyment once more. At this point it’s a task. It feels like a job to have to drive to the academy, focus on the techniques at hand and then have to roll. I’m hoping to get through it and compete at the Las Vegas Open in August but we’ll see. This is the longest I have not trained since my arm injury and it has not fazed me one bit—kind of a concern. I won’t quit because long term, I want that black belt and more gold medals but it does not make me happy to train now.

I’m writing this awesome article on Jordon Schultz that will be the main feature of my next zine. It’s worth reading and although maybe a bit discouraging or very motivating depending on how you look at it, the article will show such determination and drive for success that your attempts at jiu jitsu competition may just prove weak in comparison. The most intense person I have ever met, the article will be the same. Also waiting on a Bruno Malfacine interview that will blow some shit out of the water.