11 months in

So I got my 4th stripe. I've wanted to touch on some subjects but haven't wanted it to be controversial or talk about something I don't have enough knowledge about. Like "that guy" who chimes in on political debates between coworkers and sounds like a total idiot because he really has no sources or research on his positions. You know what I'm talking about. But promotions is a whole 'nother level. I'll go ahead and expand since, like Little Larry said to me, "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one!" Stripes are just taboo to talk about it seems. Belts are cool to mention but only after you've gotten yours. I understand it's at your Professor's discretion as to whether you're ready and have earned a promotion especially one that grants a new color belt. I've talked about stripes. I've joked about getting my blue belt and I guess it's just not that funny. I don't want to be part of an academy that hands out belts based on attendance and I don't want to be a sandbagger either. By saying that I FEEL I'm ready for a stripe after having my third for nearly 6 months, I am by no means undermining Romulo's ability to determine my rank and progress. To be frank, I believe it had to do with my leaving the academy for the near two months that I was at Ralph Gracie and having to build up my respect from my teammates and instructors again. I was told I finally received my fourth stripe not only because my technique has showed improvement but also my attitude. It's the whole package, the whole image I present to others and the atmosphere I create for myself. I'll clear up some fallacies here by saying that whenever I've talked about getting stripes I don't feel that I should just get them, it's not that I just really want to have a lot of stripes on my belt and it's not like I want to race through the training in order to look better to others. I want the stripes and I want to earn them, I want to be deserving of them. Yeah, I want my blue belt. Hell, I want my black! I want to be AT the blue belt level with the knowledge, not just a pretty color to match my gi. I'll admit I've probably focused too much on the belt and what's on it in the past but feeling singled out, feeling like I'm being put to a test is the frustrating part. "You never know when you're gonna get it." I have a feeling, it was just when I proved that I deserved it. I'm still going to talk about it. I'm still going to express when I feel like I'm not being judged the same way but now I know that 4 stripe white belt is where I'm supposed to be. No complaints. Just appreciation.