the juice is worth the squeeze

Jiu jitsu has plagued me with ailments, unknown scars and markings on my body constantly, a collection of pain meds/old antibiotics in my medicine cabinet, a maxed out credit card, buff arms that never fit right into nice cute tops with sleeves, medical bills, reason to work full time and not go back to school for now, constant laundry, lack of focus towards other important obligations in life, less of a social life, less time in my days, my hair going bald giving me reason to shave my head, dudes asking me "so ur a fighter? that's intimidating lol," and many many extra milage on my car. It's funny that a martial art/sport could change my life so much. And that everything I have "endured" so to speak so far has been completely and entirely justified due to the positive aspects. Not only did I find a hobby and a passion, I found a productive, healthy and truly inspiring way to define myself. I'm no longer just a college student. a little blonde girl, a 21-year old with no direction. I'm a jiu jitsu fighter. I find meaning in my life that is defined by training and fighting to the best of my ability in competitions. Competitions that will one day be the epitome of my life accomplishments. I have plans to not only earn a black belt but be the best female practitioner at every belt rank until then. I want to test my abilities in tournaments, teach others what I know, live my life knowing I have something worth living for and train hard all the time. I will be a champion one day. And even though that may never be enough, there is always room for improvement and ways I can incorporate jiu jitsu into my life. I'm young, I'm not tied down and I have time and the ability to dedicate my life to this sport. What a crazy thing to say.

P.s. Here's a picture after my first jiu jitsu class in which I posted on Facebook with the caption: "Hey body, you suck." hahaha

Tis the season!

I haven't updated in awhile due to starting a new job, becoming more and more broke, complaining about being broke, stepping up my training, and the holiday season in general. Let's backtrack!

I was starting to attend the instructor's class in the mornings on Mondays down at Gracie Barra Headquarters. I would drive my two hours to get there, stay the day in OC and train at Ralph Gracie at night. It worked until I started my new job. I also was able to attend 2 of the new Women's Advanced classes before work ate up my schedule. Before those classes I had never rolled with that many girls before, and no girls that were purple and up besides Mackenzie. Two training partners Amanda and Kelly just received their purple belts (and a new friend Angy who I've yet to roll with) and I'm super stoked for them. They both compete (I've actually competed against Kelly at Nationals) and they help my game. I've also gotten to roll with Ana Laura Cordeiro twice and it's an honor. Female black belts in my eyes are holy...seriously. There's a couple videos of a collage from the classes I might post. I'll think about it. In one of them it shows me rolling with Kelly where I do this WEIRD thing for an unknown reason. I always take time to wipe my nose. Like how homie dawgs flick their noses with their thumbs, I find myself releasing my grips so that I can nonchalantly wipe my nose with my finger. I swear I'm not wiping my boogers and I don't necessarily have an itch because that's usually the case, I just do it while rolling and thinking. Like "yeah, I got this." It's really embarrassing that it's shown in the video. /blush.

In other news, I'm all signed up for the Abu Dhabi Pro Trials in Las Vegas on Jan. 29th. I have not fought in a more important competition than this. If I win the gi absolute division I get a fully paid travel package to compete at Abu Dhabi World Cup in April.....Let me write that again. Fully paid airfare, hotel, food, transportation, everything to compete in the United Emirates. You know, where there's man made islands shaped like huge palm trees? Yeah? Fudge, I want it so bad. I signed up to fight no gi in my weight division and absolute along with gi in my weight division and absolute. I'll be fighting only white belts and blue belts. I cannot wait. I've been training strength and conditioning and training hard. After the holidays I will definitely step it up and my work schedule will be more permanent. That will be the only thing I care about until that date. Nothing would mean more to me at this point than winning those trials. EESH.

Finally, I did an interview with Edwin and posted it on On The Mat since I'm a writer for them now. I'm an ass and haven't been writing on there like I should. So here's that link: http://www.onthemat.com/blogs-posts/interview-edwin-young-assasin-najmi

P.S. My zines are on 3 continents, and about 5 states. Sending out more to 3 more states as well. I want this thing spread like herp--wildfire! Get on it!

P.S.S. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

Arizona, Anaheim, Irvine

Two weeks ago I was sitting at home on a Sunday being lazy and trying to get a photoshoot together when I got a text from my teammate asking me if I wanted to go to Arizona and train at Megaton's since that is his academy when he goes back home on the weekends. I didn't put much thought into it before I decided to watch some more 16 and Pregnant, eat more cookies, finally take a shower, pack my things and get a rise to meet him.

The following morning I met up with Mackenzie Dern to have a private. I can speak volumes of this girl and not that she needs the vouching, but she knows her stuff. We rolled and took turns passing guard and she stopped me whenever she saw an obvious flaw in my game. I learned a nifty grip break, an armbar from 50/50, a simple x guard sweep, two singles, an awesome secret throw, a new way to pass guard and lots of little details. I was actually afraid I wasn't going to remember it all! It was a great experience and I think the best part was when she had me do a technical stand-up and she went "its not surfing!!" Considering who her dad is, that's a very very watered down version of what he would say.

That night I took the beginner's class and ended up making a total buffoon of myself. The warm up at that academy is way different than anything I'd ever done, not to mention tough. I felt like it was my first time on the mat at some army boot camp! I got beat with a stick and my blonde hair came into play with a dummy joke from Megaton-- hey, not the first time. By the time open mat came around I barely had enough energy to roll. A real good juvenile blue belt Isaac kicked my ass and handed it to me. He wins adult divisions and trains hard so I GUESS the ass whooping was understandable.... All around a good trip.

Recently since I'm in between jobs I've been coming (I say coming instead of going because I'm currently sitting in Irvine) to the OC to train at Gracie Barra Headquarters and Ralph Gracie Anaheim. I've trained in the instructor's class twice now in Irvine and I'm surprised I survived. 6-8 black belts on the mat, it's a blessing. Anaheim being my second home continues to provide great training for me and as always a really fun and great group to be around. (Awwwww)

My first zine has been doing okay. I recently sent out some copies to Denver, Missouri, Boston, England, Canada, Brazil and Canada. If you would like to help and distribute to your academy, please email your address! It's free! PullingGuardZine@gmail.com And feedback is always great!

wee-ooo weeeee-oooo

I'm currently sitting, okay laying, in the back of an ambulance. Sounds bad but I'm just working my 12 hours of ride along experience for my EMT program. Lots of downtime. With that downtime I've decided that I really want to go to Portugal for the European Championships. I have no idea how ill get the money but ill figure it out. My arm is healing well. I've been training for about a week now. I actually just ran into the ER doctor who I did my clinical hours under and went to after I hurt my arm. He trains, too so that's awesome. I'll also be taking pictures with my teammate and friend soon. He's my first sponsor and been an asset to my success since I started training. MikMilman.com

Here is some of his work from No Gi Worlds: My teammate Edwin Najmi who placed 2nd in the Adult Feather Blue Belt Division. Next person to interview/write an article about.

Trial and Error..and error...

I've wanted to start my zine for a couple months now. Just to let you understand the importance of my finishing this, I am a starter and rarely a finisher. I am constantly driven by ideas that are usually found to be crazy and when I start them, I need to start them RIGHT THEN AND THERE. The night I figured out that I wanted to write and distribute a zine I was badgering multiple friends to help me think of a name. When they told me, "we'll figure it out" or "I dunno," I pretty much dismissed them out of my project altogether. It's not exactly the best trait to be so impatient but since I'm learning to be positive, I'll say that it's actually a great trait to be driven, a self-starter and so stoked on projects I'm passionate about.

Today I officially printed 100 copies of Pulling Guard Zine Issue 1 after many set backs small and large. I knew I had to make it something great for people to read and I also knew what I wanted people to know. Romulo being such a great influence on me and others, I could gain readers as well as share the guy I love so much. I initiated my friend Chantel into the process which kick started my drive again. I got the interview done with Romulo on Wednesday, transcribed the video that night while Chantel edited it amazingly for me. Thursday I chose which questions I wanted to put in the final draft, (only used about 30%), put the final touches on everything but the back page on Friday and today I finished it, got the okay from Professor to publish and drove straight to kinkos. Now, having to make half-pages in order is not an easy feat. There are easy ways to do so like numbering them but of course I decided to just switch things around in Word and print it out only to find that I didn't do it right 4 times in a row. By the time that I figured out the order, I realized that in order to be able to fold some double-sided papers in half to create a booklet, I would need to have no less than 2 full papers. 6 pages in the booklet would mean trying to put in a half page and that just would not work. Math IS relevant outside of grade school! Figuring out fonts that were readable (thanks Mom, you were a great editor for that) was difficult because I wanted to use the handwritten fonts I had downloaded. Zines are meant to be drawn, hand-written and cut-and-paste then xeroxed. I put my standards a bit higher by creating it on the computer legibly but still attempted to make it D-I-Y looking at the same time. You'll have to let me know if I succeeded.

When it came to copies I had no idea what it was going to cost me and knew my budget (quite small). I ended up having the guy who worked there put the initial booklet copy for me then I grabbed all different colored paper and went to town. An hour later, copies were done! I had to have a certain stapler that wasn't available to me at home so I checked staples, office depot and office max only to find $30 staplers. No thanks. The copy center at office depot allowed me to use theirs at no cost. My mom helped me staple and fold. Staples were ripping the paper then after almost half, we realized they weren't being stapled in the right place. Do over. Then about 3/4 the way through I said "Why is Benny on the page next to the page with Romulo?....OH MY GOD it's in the wrong order." Do over. An hour later we were done! It may have some holes in the fold, some of them refuse to be stapled and you should watch out for the stray staples that were inaccurately placed. BUT it's done and No-Gi Worlds is tomorrow where I can distribute it.

I've been asked why I am doing this and what I expect to get out of it. I love when people read what I write. It took me awhile to realize that my writing is worth..writing and that it really is what I love doing. Like people listening to a song I wrote, seeing my colored papers scattered throughout the Long Beach Pyramid in the hands of fellow BJJ enthusiasts is what will make this trial and many error process all worth it. I have put more money than I can currently afford into this project and not once have I regretted it so far. Just the fact that I actually finished it is a real fulfilling feeling. So on that note, if you'd like a copy in order to read about my great friend Benny and Professor Romulo Barral feel free to request a copy! It will be so appreciated.

"Just chop it off..."

I figure it's important to note this current, unfortunate, common, expected and somewhat essential step in my journey-- my first injury. How I deal will determine my character and test my love for this sport.
Anyone I've ever trained with will tell you that I am made of rubber. "Armbar? Pffft forget it." Yeah I'm flexible and its been somewhat of a blessing but also a curse and I will explain why in this very long post of storytelling. I signed up for the Los Angeles International Open hoping to get at least two matches. I looked at the competitor list to find two other girls in my division and read "Jennifer Liou." Part of me went "fuck" and the other part of me rubbed my hands together while sporting a menacing grin. Rematch.
Flashback to my first tournament ever, the California Classic last November. My first match went well with an armbar from mount. That had me feeling awesome. My second match was Jenny. She stood out from the other girls competing not only because she wasn't wearing any make-up but also because she was entirely silent and had this look like either she was planning a murder or her participation that day was forced upon her. Or both. I wasn't exactly scared of her but you could tell she was already a very serious competitor. I went onto the mat and once the match started we were fighting for grips. I remembered a move that Romulo's friend visiting from Brazil, Jarrao had just taught me which involved passing my elbow over her extended arm that was gripping my lapel and shooting in for a single. It worked but after surviving her guillotine attempt, I somehow ended up with her on my back. She ended up choking me with my lapel but not before giving me gi burns on the bridge of my nose and hands and shoving her hand in my mouth while I attempted to avoid biting it. The girl was a beast and I compared her to a vengeful daughter out for my blood because I killed her Momma. Surely my first taste of a real competitor among many other firsts that day. I later watched her demolish her opponent in a nogi match with a triangle in less than a minute. Throughout the past year I had entered the same competitions as her but due to her being a featherweight, we never got matched up again.
So now back to this past Sunday, the LA Open, put on by the NABJJF, had only three weight classes for women and I was in the 140 and under division which would put Jenny in my bracket. NBD, (no big deal) I would TCB (take care of business.) I had a by and Jenny won the other girl at the last minute, literally. That girl went off and disappeared. She was eventually DQd and since I wouldn't be fighting the loser first, I'd be going in to fight for first. I had been getting my nerves down by joking around and making Jenny laugh. I was at ease, this would just be a fun match and no pressure. But this was also my rematch. I was mentally prepared considering I knew or at least knew that at white belt level, fighting Jenny is like fending off a rabid dog attack. I would soon find out that nothing had changed.
Normally I start my matches with a swift guard pull before my opponent can even remember what their game plan was but this time I waited and circled a bit. I thought, "fuck it," and swooped in. She immediately angled herself for a pass to my left so I planted my right foot on her torso and rolled her over for a sweep. Two points up. From then on she was attack attack attack and I unfortunately was left in defense mode. She got me in a guillotine while I was passing and my lovely teammate yelled for me to watch out for what I had already gotten into. Ha, good lookin' out! I popped my head out and from then on it was me trying to pin her legs together and pass and her going for triangles, omoplatas, guillotines and armbars. I sloppily (new word?) defended all of them until I was in her closed guard. Really didn't want to be there. I stupidly left my arm out. She tucked it under her armpit while attempting a triangle somewhat, wrapped her arm around mine placing her forearm below my elbow and pulled. Here's where I have the issue. Do I see how far she takes it? Do I wait til she gives up? Do i try to yank it out? Stand up? Oh wait that burns...this could do some damage. So I reluctantly tap. She stops, looks at the ref who doesn't motion anything and she goes again! I tap more this time and the match finally ends. I didn't hurt too much til I stepped off the mat. Then I felt it and curled up in a ball until the medic came over. It ached like a bitch and it hasn't stopped hurting since then despite the splint, ibuprofen, advil, darvocets and norcos I've been given. I had my friend jessi drive me to the er after waiting around, freaking out and indulging in Brazilian bbq. At this point theres no obvious break but possibly a hairline fracture in the radial head and I can't rotate my wrist. This is my first injury and I understand it's not my last but so far I'm losing my sanity and now my job. I'm learning to deal but not very well. I'll come back with a vengeance and perhaps be more prepared to fight for the kill. All part of the game, journey and lessons learned. I'll post pictures when I'm not in my phone.

don't..touch the boobies!!

I recently was approved to become a contributing writer for Suite101.com. I'm not sure how low the approval rate is or how high their standards are but apparently I met them by adding a link to this blog on my application. Suite101 is a freelance writing site that allows people to write basically whatever they want. I choose to write what I know and that's my experiences with BJJ. I know that articles on that site are used for answers to those seeking questions on search sites like google so I wrote my first article for a beginner or someone looking for advice on rolling with girls. What better topic to write about than that? Obviously a lot because I was beating a dead horse. BUT I haven't seen any published writing that was more subjective and whatnot. Sure, I wrote about what's already been said but I figured it was a great way to spread the exposure of BJJ and females to places on the intarwebz other than blogs and forums. My intentions were to write an article stating rebuttals to stupid things guys say regarding the issues they have with rolling with girls--mainly the reasons they don't at all. I originally wrote the subheaders as quotes of the excuses I have heard men make and those were "I'm going to hurt them," "I'm going to violate them" and "Losing to a girl is embarrassing." The editor wanted the headers to be more keyword friendly and make them more relevant to what the average person was going to type into the google search box. I changed it even though it made me sound like I was explaining how every guy makes these excuses and so I'm telling them how to deal with it. I wasn't agreeing that "touching the boobies" was an issue, I was trying to expose these "issues" as retarded and dismiss them altogether. So instead of people reading it and taking whatever applied to them into consideration, I was told that readers felt it was sexist, I was creating a problem that mostly didn't exist and that I sounded unknowledgeable and was asked for my "credentials." I'll blame the editor for changing the complete tone of my article but I thoroughly believe it's filled with some good insight. So read this, and take into consideration that no, not every guy is afraid of molesting a training partner and not every guy is going to have a fit about getting submitted by a lady (or they won't admit haha).
Let me know what you think: http://www.suite101.com/content/why-men-should-train-brazilian-jiu-jitsu-with-females-a295319

P.S. To support my lifestyle, I'm selling stuff I own.. soooooooo I'm just gonna leave this right here...you can take it or leave it...
http://shop.ebay.com/skabarbie101/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25