South Bay Open 2010

Yesterday I competed in the South Bay Open. I've been so broke lately I wasn't going to sign up but I decided to do one of those "screw it, I'll add it to my credit card debt" moments and commit. I contemplated losing some weight in order to compete at super feather (I know that sounds like the weight of paper, it's great) and then I realized I might even have to watch that I don't go above 141! I weighed in at 137, always less than I think I will. Go figure. I attended the tournament on Saturday to support my Ralph Gracie and GB Encino teammates so I got a glimpse of how it was being run. Definitely just a small tourney that was probably going to be a lot of competitor's first competition. I wasn't stressed at all considering I had been working on my spider guard and was getting pretty comfortable with sweeps. I'm comfortable enough on top to submit and maintain my control. I had my training partner Mik help me warm up on the available mats that most people walked on with their shoes when waiting in line for weigh ins. Yeah, I notice these things. I warmed up with my headphones in blasting Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA and some Cartel and The Fray. I definitely annoyed people including Mik who asked me to get rid of my headphones. Nope. I basically light rolled with him and drilled some spider guard and sweeps and control. I became more sweaty during the warm-up than I did in my matches! I made my mom stay home for this one since I didn't want too many people there for me causing me to believe it was a bigger deal than it was. Sizing the whole tournament up to mean almost nothing helps my nerves. Mik coached me and Benny from Ralph Gracie stepped in even though I told him I had someone which is a good feeling. I may not be an official member of their gym anymore but I still have a family there. Took a little to get my first match but I stretched and kept warm on the side while waiting. Finally I was up.....first girl I got my grips and pulled guard immediately like planned. I can't stand when girls just dance around for five minutes waiting for who knows what. The more anticipation during the stand up, the more worked up I get during the match; I'd assume it's similar in others' experiences as well. She was floppin' around trying to apply pressure but I was able to control somewhat. Went for a triangle but she kept driving forward and her other arm was still kind of inside my legs. Swept her, went for an arm bar. Felt it pop but she wouldn't tap and rolled so I went with her a couple times and lifted my hips a foot off the ground for the win. Cool. Second girl was bigger, I think the ref said they merged weight classes. Anyway, I pulled guard went for a sweep but was sloppy and didn't get mount so went to side control. I moved around her from north south to the other side and as she went to turn to her knees I took the back and choked her with one of her lapels. Third girl was a little tougher. She had an idea of how to pass but I swept her. Messed it up again and got into half guard. She held onto my leg/foot for dear life which is what I would have done as well. I got it free then she got it again. Got into mount went for ezekiel. She defended so I thought about americana but ended up sticking my left hand deep in her collar and using my forearm to create room for my other hand and got the cross choke. My first gold. It felt good but I know that I could have done way better. It just proves that competition bjj is so much different than most training. At white belt level at least, girls tend to treat it like a race. They scramble a lot, when they get a position they hug for dear life and they do stupid shit like stall instead of passing and attempt americanas while in someone's guard. At least I know that no points were scored on me and none of my positions were from getting lucky. I'm going to go ahead and complain that some pictures were taken of me and I look really stupid and embarrassing. Here's a not so embarrassing one:

Sometimes we need harsh words

I've only been around/in the jiu jitsu world for about a year but it doesn't take this long nor long at all to realize that it's a long-term commitment that will push you, reward you, test you and make you feel things you have never felt before-- and we all know that's not just sore muscles. How many times have you been so frustrated that you feel like a total failure after a day of training? Or how about feeling like you've plateaued and have become bored with the routine of training? What about an injury putting you out of training all together for an extended amount of time and being forced to break up the consistency of your game and learning process? There are so many things that come between a student and a good day of training, a win in a competition, the next stripe...a black belt. A few months ago I jotted down some frustrations that weren't even regarding bjj but after coming across it again I think it can easily be applied. It comes off harsh but it's my reality and a great deal of where I come from and believe others should institute it as well. Too often we settle for less and avoid taking our training and even losses into our own hands. Take responsibility and give credit where/when its due.
"I don't understand people who become passive when shit happens in their lives. Whatever happened to being a go-getter? When one thing doesn't go your way do you give up and say it wasn't meant to be? Do you choose a different path because there's an obstacle? Do you live with a safety net so that when shit gets real you can take yourself out by saying it was out of your hands? No. There's no destined path for why or how events happen in our lives. Most of the time it's your fault, you just can't own up to it. You weren't paying attention, you didn't run fast enough, you didn't wake up early enough. You blame it on something else because you didn't go that extra ounce, inch or mile to get what you wanted so you settle and allow your life to be put into hands other than your own. Life is not about destinies and "meant to be"'s. Life is about choices and sticking to goals, no matter how big or small, through whatever hardship there might be. And I'm not talking about long shots, I'm talking about any situation that would give someone an opportunity to say "Everything happens for a reason." It doesn't. Shit happens and then we settle and make up excuses to relieve ourselves of all responsibility. No, one thing doesn't happen so that someone or something better can come along. Grow up. Yes coincidences occur, but the second you rely on causes that are above you, you're removing your responsibilities and surrendering your own freedoms. So the next time you run into a mishap, try searching for the true problem and continue on rather than taking a detour."

Apparently you can blog from your phone now.

11 months in

So I got my 4th stripe. I've wanted to touch on some subjects but haven't wanted it to be controversial or talk about something I don't have enough knowledge about. Like "that guy" who chimes in on political debates between coworkers and sounds like a total idiot because he really has no sources or research on his positions. You know what I'm talking about. But promotions is a whole 'nother level. I'll go ahead and expand since, like Little Larry said to me, "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one!" Stripes are just taboo to talk about it seems. Belts are cool to mention but only after you've gotten yours. I understand it's at your Professor's discretion as to whether you're ready and have earned a promotion especially one that grants a new color belt. I've talked about stripes. I've joked about getting my blue belt and I guess it's just not that funny. I don't want to be part of an academy that hands out belts based on attendance and I don't want to be a sandbagger either. By saying that I FEEL I'm ready for a stripe after having my third for nearly 6 months, I am by no means undermining Romulo's ability to determine my rank and progress. To be frank, I believe it had to do with my leaving the academy for the near two months that I was at Ralph Gracie and having to build up my respect from my teammates and instructors again. I was told I finally received my fourth stripe not only because my technique has showed improvement but also my attitude. It's the whole package, the whole image I present to others and the atmosphere I create for myself. I'll clear up some fallacies here by saying that whenever I've talked about getting stripes I don't feel that I should just get them, it's not that I just really want to have a lot of stripes on my belt and it's not like I want to race through the training in order to look better to others. I want the stripes and I want to earn them, I want to be deserving of them. Yeah, I want my blue belt. Hell, I want my black! I want to be AT the blue belt level with the knowledge, not just a pretty color to match my gi. I'll admit I've probably focused too much on the belt and what's on it in the past but feeling singled out, feeling like I'm being put to a test is the frustrating part. "You never know when you're gonna get it." I have a feeling, it was just when I proved that I deserved it. I'm still going to talk about it. I'm still going to express when I feel like I'm not being judged the same way but now I know that 4 stripe white belt is where I'm supposed to be. No complaints. Just appreciation.

Pan Ams, Bruno Mamute, Ralph Gracie, Mundials, GB

So I haven't updated in quite some time and any chance I felt a spark of inspiration to update, I lost it due to the lack of knowing how to write without telling every single detail, every personal response and reaction and how to avoid including names of people that don't actually matter. Last time I made a post I was pumped for Pan Ams and was out and about testing my techniques at other academies. Professor Romulo was in Abu Dhabi at the time and not having him there to coach me was a huge bummer but I ended up placing 3rd out of the 12 in my bracket. That might not seem like a lot of people in one division but compared to the 4-6 I usually get, 12 was awesome. I got there alone since I had slept over a friends house to beat the work traffic I would have had to get through coming from L.A. By the time I got in and got dressed I was already being called and didn't even have time to warm-up. I was the second match of the whole tournament! I had my mom and some people from my academy to back me and Professor Alberto showed in time to coach me as well. My first match was against a girl from Alliance. She pulled guard, I passed and she turned on her side as I went for the mount. I reached under her to grab the opposite lapel and she tapped after I pulled only a little. To be honest, it surprised me that she would tap to that so I didn't let go right away. I get so full of nerves and adrenaline still that most of the time I'm not even all there because it feels like it all happens so fast. I just shook this girl's hand and now I'm getting my hand raised-- I'll take it! I had some time before I had to fight again so I walked around and found Bruno Mamute who would later coach my next two matches. Second match was against a tougher girl. I won by points (I don't remember the exact score but I was up by a lot) and I had her in a triangle two times but couldn't finish her. At least I knew what to work on! I was pretty stoked and high on life after winning that and paid attention to the bracket. Got a little ahead of myself since I saw I was going to medal even if I lost this match so it got in my head. Third girl was fast and strong. We went all over the place to her having my back then having her in my guard to me mounting at one point. She got me 15 to 7 and it sucked but I was satisfied because I fought hard. Getting my picture taken on the podium at Pan Ams felt awesome and although it wasn't where I had planned to stand, I was ready to train hard and get better in time for Worlds. The whole competition after my day was like a big festival for me. Met a lot of cool people, saw some monumental fights, advanced my portuguese some and overstayed my welcome. Okay, at least I hope not. The next day it was back to work, literally but I was too pumped on my whole weekend that it didn't really matter how many patients I had to do physical therapy on, how many times I had to call the insurance companies or the stress of having to answer phones, schedule appointments and perform an ultrasound on someone's back all at the same time. Just a day later I was back to training and down in OC checking out Bruno Paulista's Ralph Gracie academy. I came in when the kid's class was still in progress. I had never seen so many kids on one mat before let alone that many parents actively watching and hanging out with one another. The academy layout itself is very home-like with couches and a flat screen, a coffee table scattered with graciemags and coloring books, a staircase right out of the set of Full House, a huge mat, Bruno's pup chillin behind the desk and a whole upstairs equipped with another big mat, weights and cardio machines and another flat screen. When I took the advanced class (I was allowed to participate even though I had 3 stripes and the requirements were 4) I was paired up with a female which was a delightful change and a large reason I was there in the first place. We worked on kimura defenses and did specific training in guard and rolled after. Met a lot of people and felt really welcome. After the class I stayed longer than I had wanted to since I had work in the AM and ended up taking on the responsibility of Bruno's phone calls while he went to Brazil for ten days. He was stressing about last minute plans and whatnot so I figured helping him out like that would be no problem--ten days isn't long. Unfortunately, the trip lasted longer than anyone wanted it to. Just a week after he was in Brazil he got in a car accident that threatened to take his life. After getting multiple calls and voicemails on my phone from Said, one of Bruno's students, I got worried and snuck out of work to call him back. Turns out he was calling Bruno's phone and it was being forwarded to me without him realizing it and the news he broke to me was horrible. I won't go into all of the details that followed but he came out of a coma and was recovering slowly. In that amount of time I was already driving down to the OC once a week and training and helping out at the academy, which didn't leave much time to train at my own academy, Legacy. Without having girls to train with and no little guys who knew how to train with a girl, Ralph Gracie felt like it would help me a lot more. I never intended to change gyms but with my time being occupied and then finding great training partners while there, I made the switch. A lot of black belts and students stepped up to teach and assist at the academy while Bruno was away which was admirable to say the least. Regarding my own training, it was hard to drive down and only train 2 times a week especially with Worlds creeping up fast. Also, with not many people who knew my game, I thought it would be tough to find someone to coach me but Benny and Sean stepped up willingly and it was a relief. To further my game even more, I took a trip to San Francisco. I trained at Ralph Gracie Dublin and at Ralph Gracie San Francisco and let me tell you, the training is not taken lightly up there. I was very fortunate to have Ralph help me directly. Now let me foreshadow a little here and tell you that I have a stupid fear of getting swept while passing guard by standing so that's what Ralph helped me with. And he even threw in a pass involving using the other person's gi to trap their arm and pass without standing. I'm extremely grateful for everyone that allowed that trip to happen and all the training partners and professors I came across in that duration. By the time I got back to LA it was already 4 days before my match at Worlds. I was dealing with unfortunate personal issues and my head wasn't screwed in right, so I wasn't exactly going in with a focused mindset. Day of the matches I had three coaches and much support. While in the bullpen I was greeted by my man Kenny. His big hug and encouraging words of "rip her fuckin' head off" really helped. Too bad it wasn't enough. Nervous as shit, my first (and only) match was against a GB girl. She pulled guard and although I avoided being swept and even got half guard at one point AND took her down (kind of?I didn't get points) I lost by an advantage. Wasn't exactly the best sportsman given that I slammed my hands on the mat and mouthed a "FUCK!" after time ran out, I still congratulated my opponent before rushing off to cry. I can tell you that crying does help. It may not be the best way to deal or the proudest way to lose but it was much needed in order for me to accept that although I was going above and beyond to try and prepare for this competition, I didn't do my best and I wasn't the best. It happens, I'm over it and to those that did win my division they earned it. I felt like I had a lot on my shoulders and much to prove after leaving Romulo (even though I was always and will always be his girl) and that made me feel like a failure. Boo-hoo, I'll stop talking about my girlish tendencies. The following days would pretty much conclude what I was already feeling-- that driving all that way to Anaheim and not be able to train as often as I need to, would ultimately take a toll on my performance and progress. I love the friends I've made and the people who helped me but I decided that by making Legacy, now Gracie Barra Encino, my main squeeze, I could get back on track. I still plan on training with the girls and guys that made my training possible the past two months, who allowed me to barge into their classes and beat all of them up in rolling (haaaaaaaa), who let me tease and punch them for little to no reason, who coached and taught me, who gave me places to stay, who gave me support and advice for my life decisions and comforting me when I was down. I'll still be around (sorry, you're somewhat still stuck with me). Regarding Bruno, the best news I've heard in forever came today-- he's out of the hospital and fully on his way to recovery. We're hoping he'll be back in the OC by August but really, I'm and we are all glad he's just okay and back to his old, stubborn, funny, charming self. A lot of tough choices were made since the last time I posted and it wasn't exactly the best time for my life or jiu jitsu but I think it was all needed in order for me to realize where I belong, who I can really trust and how things just are at this point in my life. I'll update more often so hopefully they aren't as long as this one. Here are some pictures that go along with this rant:

Gracie Barra Cerritos and Gracie Barra Santa Ana

Last week I had the pleasure of going down to Gracie Barra Cerritos and participating in the advanced class with Professor Alexandre "Dande" Santos. I know some people might think that training at another academy is pointless or even disrespectful to your own academy perhaps, but my mentality is that rolling with people other than my training partners can be beneficial. I'm currently the only female at my academy that trains in all of the classes. Besides Professor Romulo's wife and the few ladies that stream in and never stay, I have no one my size and strength to compare myself to. With the competition around the corner I figured I'd take my game and try it elsewhere and gain some or any confidence to bring onto the mat with me. I took my chances not knowing whether any girls were going to be in attendance and luckily there was a blue belt female present that was even smaller than me. After I was given a Gracie Barra gi to wear (at my academy it is not mandatory to have a GB gi) I bowed in and entered the class not even knowing the female was there until after the warm-up. I'm pretty sure she was just small enough to hide behind the pole. I was paired up with her and we worked on techniques. We learned the fireman takedown along with a counter if the person does have their grip on our collar. We worked on getting an armbar from the back and rolled. I went against the girl blue belt and 4 other blue belt guys. I can't tell you how happy I was that every guy I rolled with was either about my size and even if they were bigger, they had better technique than I. The overall feel was real nurturing and I felt that as a guest I was treated really well. As far as the teaching goes, attention to detail and support were paid attention to and when coaching Dande made me feel like everything I was doing was right, but he would add how I could do or make it better and the best way to advance my position. Definitely looking forward to going back. Thank you Dande and thank you training partners :).

Two days later I made my way down to Santa Ana to attend Professor Ulpiano Malachias' advanced class. I attempted to make it down for the fundamentals class at 5 but unfortunately leaving at 3 o clock was not the best idea and no, I would NOT beat the rush hour traffic. Cause of course rush hour traffic anywhere in or around Los Angeles starts around 2 and ends around 7 if you're lucky-- especially on the 5 freeway. After a rough 2 and a half hours of butt-numbing monotonous stop-and-go bumper-to-bumper sleep-inducing road congestion, I landed at my destination. I walked into the academy and heard "Legacy" as if I had just earned my first nickname. Jeff, Ulpiano's star purple belt greeted me behind the desk and after exchanging some words realized we had been on the same mat before at Legacy Pasadena for Braulio Estima's seminar. I think the best dude, besides the professor of course, was Mick, the suuhhhhhthern speaking, generous, outgoing, hard-working blue belt who became my partner for technique. We learned a throw, a choke from mount and its different variations. Luckily a girl walked in and became my rolling partner. Ulpiano had me work on passing her guard and although she was my size and stature that girl was strong. He coached me and had me work on pushing her leg down to the mat and getting my knee through while pressing my chest to hers-- a technique I was familiar with but needed some tuning up. After rolling a little I felt my big toe collapse under my weight. Being part monkey I use my toes like opposable thumbs and twist and turn on them and this time it stung. I've never had any type of serious injury so I sat while Ulpiano worked with Crystal investigating the damage. He asked me what was wrong, grabbed my toe to see if it was broken I'm assuming and told me it was no problem. All of Ulpiano's students are tough, even his girls. If you ever wanted to learn how to have the heart of a lion, go to this academy. Professor keeps it serious and doesn't allow whining or bitching. And that's something I do a lot. Later he taught me some nice guard passes, a sneaky submission from side control (which I've yet to use but will) and a triangle defense that I really need to work on before I can feel confident using. The students at GB Santa Ana are tough, persistent and serious about their training. I think I can take from the visit, a feeling of confidence not necessarily in my technique but in my drive and perseverance. If you want it bad enough, you'll get it with hard work. Obrigada Mick, Jeff, Crystal, Professor Ulpiano and the others I was able to hang and joke around with, see you again real soon.

I think I'll start a BJJ blog

The idea of starting a brazilian jiu jitsu blog is like assuming you know something about bjj worth reading. I'm currently a white belt at Legacy MMA in Encino, CA under Alberto Crane and Romulo Barral. I am by no means a prodigy, an athletic superstar, a technical genius or a champion of any kind. This blog is intended to give insight, and very detailed insight at that, into my life as a female jiu jitsu enthusiast. That includes reading about my frustrations, issues with the sport (which may be common or maybe exclusive to my experiences or even just as a female), random epiphanies that none of my teammates want to listen to anymore, venting/ranting (I'll keep it to a minimum), my reviews or random shit, my visits to other gyms, my competition triumphs and losses and just my overall journey in the wonderful jiu jitsu world. I figured the first post should at least include how I came up on the sport and how it went from an interest to what is now a lifestyle for me.
I started jiu jitsu nearly a year and a half after I first became aware it existed. Although my first encounter was a great, educational one, it took me awhile to get off my lazy ass and have enough initiative to get into a gym and onto a mat. I was first introduced to bjj by an amazing guy from Maryland named Kenny. He and I became acquaintances through a music scene and in 2008, first met when I picked him up from a snazzy apartment in Hollywood. We had talked before and when he mentioned he would be out my way I offered to hang out with him and show him around. I remember being mad at him for not knowing exact directions to where I could pick him up which resulted in me blocking a whole gated entrance and having to maneuver my car into and out of traffic just for some guy I was hoping wasn't a total asshole. As soon as he got in my car and extended his hand with a smile, I was relieved. I had known he was out in CA for some martial art competition he referred to as "Pan Ams" but I dismissed it as some dude bro afterschool high school type extracurricular activity competition..thing. We drove down to Carson since, although he had already competed the day before, wanted to go down and support his teammates. I didn't have anything specific on the agenda so I obliged, interested in figuring out what the hell it was that would make him fly to the other side of the country to compete. When we got there, I just followed him around since I didn't know anyone but him, barely. First I noticed the massive amounts of people and then once we were inside the large gym, the lining of mats with barriers covered with people rooting and yelling and what I later realized was coaching. We were there for hours and I was introduced to some of Kenny's teammates, he pointed out some monumental people to which I had no idea about and I asked a million and one questions. Let's see, I learned about points, the belt system, if there was a reason for the different colored gis, what this dark substance was that everyone was eating, who these foreign people that were yelling some other language, what the other language was and where these people were from and why there were so many, and where the hell all the girls were. We checked the bracket and were able to catch one of Felicia Oh's match which was exciting. After that, I was hooked. I figured that wrestling with my jackass guy friends in 9th and 10th grade was enough experience to start and my creepy (suiting word) flexibility would be of use, finally. After that weekend I researched some gyms closest to me but wasn't ready to make the commitment for some stupid reason I can't remember. Probably had to do with the fact I was too shy and scared to walk into any gym and ask "Where do I sign up!?" I think I even added one academy on myspace, leaving a message in the add request that I was planning on stopping by to check it out sometime as if that was some constellation or step towards doing the damn thing! It eventually just got put on the back burner so to speak, and literally a bullet on my list of things to do and accomplish. In fact, it was in between getting good grades that college semester and becoming a criminal investigator so you can imagine the importance I ended up placing on it. Finally, a friend of mine had shown interest in joining a gym and I figured we'd look into gyms together. Again, I lagged hard and he joined one and left me in the dust so I knew it was time for me to start. I knew there was a gym near my work next to the subway I always went to for lunch. I lagged some more before going in since I wanted a friend to go with me. One day in July my friend Jessi and I were doing our usual swimming, eating, making plans for the night summer routine when I decided to check the online schedule and rush her out the door with me to make sure we didn't miss the last jiu jitsu class of the night. Got there, filled out a paper, went back the next day at noon and I haven't quit (or lost interest!) since then.
I'm 8 months into it and my drive to get better and more involved becomes stronger every time I train. Four days from now I'll be competing in the same event that established my interest in what is now a huge priority in my life. I don't think anyone who knows me would have expected me to be so attached and passionate about not only jiu jitsu but any sport for that matter considering I've never played a sport in my life (unless you count peewee basketball in the 3rd grade or that week of cheerleading tryouts in 11th grade which nearly killed me.) The only hobbies or activities I picked up were girl scouts until I was 18 (I know, right? most girls realized how "uncool" is was at the age of 11 but hell, I stuck around!) and playing trumpet after being in band for two years in middle school. Two things that, besides the physical aspects in girl scout troop competitions and learning to breathe from my diaphragm, have nothing to do with jiu jitsu. Since that first class I've started and continued to train religiously, obtained three stripes on my white belt, visited and trained in other gyms, some in other states, competed three times, picked up some portuguese, made plans to go to Brazil, gained much more strength and endurance, sacrificed acrylic nails, become what looks like a beaten mistress with all my bruises, forfeited my femininity (okay, kidding) and created reasonable long term and short term goals that have helped me live a happier and healthier life.
For those competing in Pan Ams this year, good luck and I'll see you on the mats. For those attending to support me, thank you and I love you and for those at all interested, the tournament will take place on April 08th, 09th, 10th and 11th in University California Irvine, Irvine - California.
100 Bren event center,
University California Irvine
Irvine, California 92697